There are deals to be made.
You just have to have meaningful conversations, listening with empathy and selflessness. Whenever I call someone, particularly someone I have never met, I am just trying to understand, because you can’t help someone until you understand them. Everyone seems busy, and many are stressed. Even if business is going well, there is always something!
About ten years ago a speaker at Rotary changed my life. For as long as I could remember I set high goals – every day – that led to monthly and annual goals. But I set too many goals that were not really achievable. Actually, each individual goal was achievable, but not when combined with 20 other goals. As a result, even when I closed a big deal or won a new piece of business, I found myself stuck, dwelling on 19 things I had not completed.
On that fateful day at Rotary, I learned that it is ok to set less goals. I learned to manage my expectations – and cut myself some slack. Can you imagine not having a boss, but constantly being stressed out and disappointed? Well, that was me. until that day at Rotary – It was an ah-ha moment, like a light switch.
The Art of Happiness
When I was going through “my” divorce I read, The Art of Happiness. It was written by Howard Cutler, a psychiatrist, in collaboration with the 14th Dalai Lama. Until then, the only Dalai Lamma I knew of was a golfer that Carl Spackler (Bill Murry) caddied for. In “Caddy Shack” Carl tells a wild story about caddying for the Dalai Lama in Tibet.
It was a tough round from the first tee. Carl tells the story while tapping a Caddy’s chest with a sharpened pitchfork, “He hauls off and whacks one – big hitter, the Lama – long, into a ten-thousand-foot crevasse, right at the base of this glacier.” Carl asks, “Do you know what the Lama says? Gunga galunga… gunga, gunga-lagunga.”
For Carl, Every hole was an adventure, and Carl probably got 50,000 steps in. But at the end of the round Carl asks for a tip. This is how Carl tells it:
“So we finish the eighteenth and he’s gonna stiff me. And I say, “Hey Dalai Lama, how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know.”
The Lama replies, “Oh, uh, there won’t be any money, but when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness.”
Carl rationalizes, “So, I got that goin’ for me, which is nice.”
Back to the Art of Happiness…..
The Art of Happiness still resonates with me today: Everyone just “wants to be loved and they just want to be happy.” It doesn’t matter whether you are the CEO of Apple or the President of Bacon CRE – we all want the same basic thing. That realization made my interaction with big brains and even bigger egos easier. So, I got that goin’ for me, which is nice.
The Untethered Soul
A wise friend of mine gave me a copy of The Untethered Soul, written by Michael Singer in 2007. Talk about a game-changer. If you want to immediately change every aspect of your life – for the better – read a couple of chapters.
“…this book will transform your relationship with yourself and the world around you. You’ll discover what you can do to put an end to the habitual thoughts and emotions that limit your consciousness.”
It is just a matter of choice. You can save yourself hours of therapy and thousands of dollars – just pick up The Untethered Soul.
When I started writing this, I really didn’t know where I was going. But I like where I ended up. Have a great weekend!
Tom Bacon, CCIM, has been assisting commercial real estate clients in Sacramento since 1991, with an emphasis in representing companies (occupiers) with their commercial real estate matters.