Every now and then, you hear someone tell a story that hits a little too close to home. This happened last week at an event put on by Brent Gove and sponsored by The PDF Group of Companies.  Matt Plumer, a financial coach, told the story of how he turned his life from total chaos into something resembling balance.  He weighed in at 300 pounds and was addicted to just about everything,  It wasn’t until he found himself on a marriage counselor’s couch that he began to think about what went wrong.  I know the feeling – running fast and not getting very far. Life is not so fun (or easy) when you don’t have your house in order.  For me, I always felt like I was on the visiting team; I never had home-field advantage.

Deals, Dough, and Denial

If you are not disciplined and tracking your progress, Commercial real estate has a funny way of keeping you busy and broke at the same time. The checks are big enough to make you feel successful, but the timing’s unpredictable enough to keep you on edge. It’s like being a rock star who only gets paid when someone claps, or how about a fledgling pro golfer; I wish I could relate to that!  
 
I used to think financial discipline was for accountants and people who use “spreadsheet” as a verb. I figured that if I just kept working hard, the financial aspect would sort itself out. Spoiler alert: it doesn’t.  Matt said, “At some point, you realize you can’t out-earn disorganization. You have to change the system. You can’t sell your way to wealth, and you can’t save your way to wealth. You need a plan.”  Frankly, I never worried about expenses until I did my taxes.  

The Quiet Wake-Up Call

Matt’s wake-up call came on a counselor’s couch. Mine was less dramatic — more like a series of small realizations strung together with late-night reflection and another glass of wine.  
About three years ago, I decided to make some lifestyle changes. (We’ll leave the details vague, but let’s say it involved a few habits that were costing me more than they were giving back.) The interesting part? Once I started exercising discipline in one area, I began noticing where I lacked it in others — particularly in the area of money.  Money touches everything: health, marriage, work, even sleep. And nothing robs peace of mind faster than realizing you’ve been playing financial whack-a-mole for years. 

Step One: Tell Yourself the Truth

Matt talked about writing down the truth — every debt, every account, every embarrassing reality — and doing it with “no shame, no blame.” I liked that.  I’ve made great investments and some that deserve to be buried in a shallow grave behind the office. But getting honest sets you free. When you stop avoiding the numbers, they stop chasing you. It’s easy to look at your finances when times are good, but for me, when business was tough, I would not look at the numbers.  Actually, I wouldn’t even open the mail; I would just let it stack up.

Step Two: Think Like an Owner (of Your Life)

One of Matt’s main takeaways was flipping the usual financial script. Most of us are taught: Sales – Expenses = Profit. He says it should be: Sales – Profit = Expenses. Pay yourself first, and make the rest work on what’s left. Simple!  In real estate, we’re used to feast-or-famine cycles. But this approach forces you to plan for stability. It’s not about greed, it’s about sanity. And honestly, if I’d treated my personal finances with the same structure I use for a lease negotiation, I might have saved myself a few gray hairs and one or two “what was I thinking?” purchases.

Step Three: Adding Age to Your Money

This was my favorite part of Matt’s talk: “add age to your money.” Translation: stop spending it the minute it arrives. Give your dollars time to grow before you send them out into the world.  In real estate terms, it’s like creating a holding pattern for cash flow — let the money season a little before it has to perform.

Dave Ramsey says it differently: live on less than you make, pay off debt, and build an emergency fund. Simple. Boring. Effective. Imagine not flinching when the tax bill hits because you planned for it. Imagine not needing to use a credit card for Christmas. Imagine teaching your kids to live like that — before life teaches them the hard way. That’s what I want for my Kids,  Emma and Willy. They’re at the age where every dollar has a destiny, even if it’s for gas, rent, or burritos. If they can build structure early, they’ll have the peace that took me six decades to appreciate.

Step Four: Freedom with a Framework

Matt calls his system a “Freedom Spending Plan.” That phrase sounds like an oxymoron. But it’s true: freedom comes from structure.  Knowing exactly where your money’s going before it leaves the account feels a lot like showing up to a meeting prepared. It doesn’t guarantee perfection, but it does eliminate chaos. And when you have margin, you make better choices — not just with money, but with people, time, and energy.  If I had applied this principle, I would not have had to live through a Tax Lien in 1987.  Nor would I have been subjected to the debilitating stress that comes from a possible bankruptcy if a deal doesn’t close.

Step Five: The Late Bloomer’s Advantage

If you’re reading this and thinking, “I’m too far along to change,” let me assure you — you’re not.  There is no time like the present.  Like the Stones said in Ruby Tuesday, “Yesterday don’t matter if it’s gone.”  Matt started his turnaround in his late thirties.

I’m 64, still growing, learning, and finally realizing that money management is more about maturity than math—or just making more sales.  I’ve spent a lifetime helping clients find the right space for their business. It turns out that I needed to make space in my own life — both financially, emotionally, and spiritually — for the things that truly matter.  So here’s what I know now: Peace doesn’t come from the next deal. It comes from discipline. Wealth isn’t the reward for being lucky. It’s the result of being intentional. And it’s never too late to get it right. That’s my story, and I am sticking to it.